The tendency to minimize unpleasant messages, known as the MUM effect, often deters people from speaking up when difficult topics arise. Bohns explains that useful feedback must be actionable, assisting the recipient to improve, avoid embarrassment, or learn something new. To navigate these situations effectively, individuals should ask directly if the other party wants feedback and respect their decision. A 2022 survey underscored this communication barrier by revealing that fewer than 3% of participants alerted researchers to visible facial smudges.
Key points
Feedback should only be shared if it provides actionable information that serves a constr…: Feedback should only be shared if it provides actionable information that serves a constructive purpose.
People frequently underestimate how much others actually want to receive constructive fee…: People frequently underestimate how much others actually want to receive constructive feedback.
Rather than assuming what someone can handle, individuals should ask directly if feedback…: Rather than assuming what someone can handle, individuals should ask directly if feedback is desired.
Sources checked by our analysis pipeline: 1
Never miss a story or episode from Life Kit. Sign up for our weekly newsletter to get our journalism delivered directly to your inbox.
Should you tell your partner how you really feel about their casserole? Offer a colleague feedback about their subpar interview performance? Let a stranger know she has toilet paper on her shoe?
Life Kit
How honest should you really be? Tips for sharing good and bad news
How honest should you really be? Tips for sharing good and bad news
Sometimes the hardest part about talking to other people isn't finding the right words to say — but deciding if you should say anything at all, says social psychologist Vanessa Bohns.
"There are times when honesty is the best policy," she says. "On the other hand, honesty is not the best policy if whatever we say is going to be honest without any instrumental value."
Bohns is the author of Should I Say Something? The Science of What to Share—and What to Keep to Yourself, published in October. The book provides research-backed strategies to help you…
Backed by up to $53 million from the Advanced Research Projects Agency for Health, the initiative seeks to counter mounting agricultural resistance and human health hazards associated with common agrochemicals. The effort focuses on replacing existing compounds with precision alternatives to curb domestic dependence on foreign precursors like phosphorus while protecting crop yields. By integrating generative artificial intelligence and high-throughput validation, the collaboration aims to deliver safer, cost-effec…
Navigating the dynamics of exchange often triggers unwanted feelings of obligation, reciprocity, and scorekeeping rather than pure joy. Offering presents grants people total control over timing, costs, and choices while fostering connection, but accepting items frequently provokes stress regarding unspoken debts. Understanding these psychological triggers helps individuals manage the tension inherent in unequal social rituals.
International researchers have successfully synthesized and isolated stable oxoboranes, ending a decades-long struggle to capture compounds containing a boron-oxygen triple bond. The computational analysis led by Indian scientists helped unlock the reaction pathways that make these elusive chemical structures viable. This fundamental milestone expands experimental access to rare bonding motifs and paves the way for isolating other highly unstable molecules.