Health1 min read

'You're triggering me': How to understand your therapy-speak teen

By · Published by Everything Blog

In short

Driven by online platforms, teenagers are increasingly using terms like "gaslighting" and "boundaries" to express their frustration during everyday disputes over chores and schoolwork. While these phrases help youth articulate feelings, London psychotherapist Julia Samuel warns that labeling mild distress as a clinical condition risks establishing harmful emotional habits. To de-escalate tensions, New York psychiatrist Dr. Suzanne Garfinkle-Crowell advises parents to translate technical phrasing back into basic emotional terms like loneliness, while still seeking professional medical care if genuine anxiety or depression surfaces.

Key points

  • Young people often utilize clinical phrasing to ensure that their feelings are acknowledg…: Young people often utilize clinical phrasing to ensure that their feelings are acknowledged by adults during times of stress.
  • Parents can reduce household conflict by translating their teenagers' medicalized termino…: Parents can reduce household conflict by translating their teenagers' medicalized terminology back into everyday emotional language.
  • Caregivers must learn to differentiate between casual therapeutic buzzwords and genuine s…: Caregivers must learn to differentiate between casual therapeutic buzzwords and genuine signs of severe mental health disorders.

Sources checked by our analysis pipeline: 1

- Published

With claims of gaslighting, triggering and disrespecting boundaries, some parents are struggling to understand their teenagers' so-called therapy speak.

When Carla Hoskins asks her 15 and 18-year-old sons to revise or do chores at their Hertfordshire home, she says she is sometimes met with: "You're triggering me!"

Over in the US, Shannon Salvatoriello says her 14 and 17-year-old sons use similar words, which she says leaves her "feeling very confused".

Mental health experts in the UK and US tell the BBC why young people are using terms often heard during therapy sessions in everyday conversation - and give parents tips on how to better understand their teenagers.

Mum-of-six Carla says she is sometimes accused of gaslighting by her eldest teen sons - particularly when she asks about friends or school work.

"I feel like any time you challenge them or request something is when you come up against this new language," says the 39-year-old.

"Rather than just saying, 'Mum, I'm stressed about my exams' or 'I've got a lot on my plate', it's I'm triggering them." She adds:…

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