From maternal mental health and the invisible load of caregiving to fertility treatment, social media and the decision to return to work, The Straits Times’ five-part podcast series - The Mother Load - sets out to explore the parts of motherhood that rarely make the headlines. The biggest lesson learnt along the way? Mothers here may need less advice - and more reassurance that they are not alone.
It started, appropriately enough, with a much-needed jolt of coffee.
In January, a conversation at our office Toast Box with two fellow parents turned to the realities of raising children. As a working mother, I found myself wishing for a podcast rooted in the Singapore experience of motherhood - one that went beyond parenting tips to explore the emotional, social and workplace realities of being a mother.
Then came a simple suggestion: “Why don’t you do it?”
The result became a limited-run podcast series - The Mother Load - a five-parter covering maternal mental health, the mental load, social media and parenting anxiety, working motherhood and fertility.
The conversations were deliberately not about getting motherhood “right”. I wanted to explore what it actually feels like to navigate a transition that can be joyful, exhausting, isolating and messy - sometimes all at once.
One of my biggest takeaways was how much we can learn simply by listening.
Some of our audience members who wrote in said the episodes on IVF and being a stay-at-home-mum offered a glimpse into realities they were unfamiliar with. One listener said the candour of guests sharing grief and heartbreak helped them become more aware of the needs of others, and how to be a better friend, colleague and family member.
Another appreciated that the discussion on being a stay-at-home mother went beyond the usual debate over whether women should work, to instead examine financial realities, relationship power dynamics and the toll these can take on a marriage.
It reminded me that journalism is not only about telling us what is happening, but also about helping us understand what it feels like to live through it.
This was a new approach for a podcast series by The Straits Times too, which has six other regular series covering current affairs, career and life, issues of the day, geopolitics and health.
One listener called The Mother Load “a breath of fresh air” because it did not give her “a list of things that I need to do”, but instead made her feel that the points discussed were simply part and parcel of every mother’s life.
Another appreciated that personal stories were balanced with facts and research, rather than becoming simply about people recounting their experiences.
I was struck by how different the conversations felt when I allowed myself to be a part of them. Here, I was just a mother chatting with other mums who sometimes threw questions back at me!
One listener wrote: “I love that we get a space on national news to talk about real issues!”
Motherhood is everywhere, but many of its hardest realities are still treated as private problems - things women are expected to work out quietly.
Hopefully, The Mother Load gives some of those honest, evidence-based and human experiences a place in mainstream journalism.
Episode 1:
‘You don’t have to do this perfectly to do it well’: Working motherhood and mental health
What happens when mum is depleted, running on empty, and yet still tries to keep going? From the hormonal and neurological changes of matrescence to the relentless mental load of caregiving, we examine why motherhood can feel so all consuming – and why so many struggle in silence.
Joining me in this episode are clinical psychologist Elysia Tan from Annabelle Psychology, who is navigating life with her young daughter, and parent coach Joline Lim, co-director of Chapter Zero, who is raising two neurodivergent children.
Episode 2:
The juggle is real: Can working mums really have it all?
In this episode, we unpack the feeling of never being enough at work or at home, the invisible mental load of being the “default parent”, and why some things in life are rubber balls that bounce back when they are dropped.
We also talk about burnout, sharing the load with your partner, and how becoming a mother reshapes what ambition and success looks like. Joining me is Jacinth Liew, parenting coach and founder of Our Little Play Nest.
Episode 3:
Are social media algorithms feeding our parenting anxieties?
In this episode, we explore practical ways to build a healthier relationship with social media, trust your own instincts again and find real support beyond the screen - reminding parents that no algorithm knows their children better than they do.
Joining me are Huda Rasid, founder of The Mum Collective, and Minister of State Rahayu Mahzam, as we talk candidly about the pressures of raising children in this digital age.
Episode 4:
Injecting yourself in the bathroom and smiling through work: The reality of IVF while at work
Around one in six couples in Singapore experience infertility, yet many endure the physical and emotional toll of fertility treatment in silence while juggling work, medical appointments and the uncertainty of what comes next.
Joining me in this episode are Divya Menon, director of Fertility Support SG, who is still navigating her own in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) journey after multiple treatment cycles and a recent miscarriage, and Elisha Tushara, a Straits Times journalist whose daughter was conceived after years of fertility treatment and losses.
Episode 5:
Stay-at-home or working mum: Is there ever a right choice?
Joining me in this episode are Kristen Kiong, a speech therapist and mother of three who left the workforce to care for her children full-time; and Yong Qiao Qing, a marketing manager and mother of two who returned to work after being a stay-at-home mum.
We discuss the misconceptions surrounding stay-at-home mothers, the hidden value of unpaid caregiving, and why becoming a mother can make women stronger and more productive at work.
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Listen to Vanessa’s interview on Money FM 89.3:
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Host: Vanessa Chelvan (vpchelvan@sph.com.sg)
Read Vanessa’s articles: https://str.sg/gr5Z
Follow Vanessa on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/jHdJ
Produced and edited by: Teo Tong Kai
Executive producers: Ernest Luis & Elizabeth Law
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Follow more ST podcast channels:
All-in-one ST Podcasts channel: https://str.sg/wvz7
Get more updates: http://str.sg/stpodcasts
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Google Play: https://str.sg/icyX
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