The author abandoned a desire to play the flute at age ten after an older brother warned of severe school bullying linked to gendered instrument choices. This early conformity connects to broader contemporary trends showing elevated rates of youth depression, isolation, and social media reliance. While asexuality remains a healthy variation, the author notes that rising touch aversion frequently correlates with visible maladjustment. Crucially, even when touch aversion stems from distress, personal boundaries must be respected because such reactions serve as protective adaptations.
Key points
Statistical data indicates that younger generations are experiencing heightened rates of…: Statistical data indicates that younger generations are experiencing heightened rates of anxiety, depression, and social isolation.
Departures from historical social norms contribute to a growing number of young people av…: Departures from historical social norms contribute to a growing number of young people avoiding physical touch.
Forcing interventions or overriding personal boundaries is inherently wrong when individu…: Forcing interventions or overriding personal boundaries is inherently wrong when individuals develop touch aversions to adapt to distress.
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“No brother of mine will play the flute.”
These are the words my older brother uttered—pronounced, more like—decreed, even—as I, a ten-year-old transitioning from elementary school to middle, debated the merits of various instruments I might learn, in band class.
(I had been leaning toward flute.)
(I ended up going with clarinet.)
I was recently in a conversation where a friend said, approximately:
I feel you’re on stronger ground, Duncan, when you say that the status quo is unfairly blocking some people from activities they spontaneously want to do and (you argue) safely could in a different society.
I feel less comfortable when you dig for reasons that other people’s aversions to touch or sexual activity or whatever might be “unhealthy” (against some standard I’m not sure you’ve made a case for the universal healthiness of).
(I’m sort of dropping you into the deep end; you can probably figure out what sort of conversation it was.)
I had a lot of thoughts in response.
I think the statistical case for the unhealth of the younger generation is very strong, vis-a-vis…
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